My Funny Valentines

So I don’t have a valentine this year.

Well, that’s not entirely true.  I actually have several.  Unfortunately none of them are willing and/or able to makeout with me.  At least not without a triple dog dare and a heck of a lot of alcohol.

(Kidding.)

(Sort of.)

No but really, I have some pretty cool Valentines – 6 of my closest girl friends here in the ‘burg.

All the Single Ladies

 

On Saturday night, my valentines talked me into a rousing game of Kings Cup in which I got to make a rule since I drew a King.  Not 2 minutes after announcing such rule, I was the first one to break it, forcing me to suffer the consequences of placing my forehead on the table until the next person breaks the rule and has to assume the position.

I'm so classy.

Then my valentines took me out on the town.  I thought breakfast came on the morning after all of the wining and dining and overnight slumber party with your Valentine, but turns out I got breakfast a bit early in the form of a Lumberjack.

 

EWWWW! NO! Not that kind of Lumberjack!

 

THIS is a lumberjack!

You see, there’s a bar here in town that serves a lovely little shot that tastes like pancakes, and comes served with a slice of bacon in the shot glass.  They are delicious and yes, they taste like breakfast.  One time my friends just ordered the side of bacon instead of the shot.  Because, well, it’s bacon – why not?

After breakfast, we proceeded to one of the three main Irish pubs that we frequent in town.  This one is known for a rowdy dance floor – so of course I ended up shaking my shizz all night.  I had a blast dancing and felt like a hot mama in my super high heels and army-green shorts with tights.  I was also handing out Scooby Doo Valentines in the club and was saving some key conversation hearts in my pocket should I meet the right gentleman that would be worthy of such a gift.

Sadly I did not meet anyone deserving of a candy heart due to the fact that my dear friend Kelly got pickpocketed in the club. Someone literally reached in her purse while it was on her shoulder and stole her wallet out of it. Then proceeded to clean it out and dump it on the ground. Such a bummer.  We spent the rest of the night chowing down on slices of pizza pie and calling credit card companies to cancel everything.

The following day helped to redeem the rough ending to the night thanks to a beautiful all-you-can-stuff-your-fatass-with Valentine’s brunch.  The ladies and I ate our money’s worth of omelets, pasta, fresh fruit, crepes, BACON, mimosas and desserts galore.  NOM NOM NOM.  I was so stuffed that I basically didn’t eat anything else all day. Which is probably for the best considering all of the calories I likely consumed.  I did get a little OnDemand advanced Yoga workout in so that’s a plus.

While it was a wonderful weekend, my valentines didn’t end there.  I received a sweet care package from my favorite person in all of DC which included sparkly red nail polish, Dr. Pepper Lipsmackers, some cute thank you notes, a calendar and a CD of the cheesiest and most wonderful love songs ever.  I love love loved it.

I also got this card from one of my faves in Texas:

Why, thank you for noticing.

 

But I’d venture to say my favorite Valentine came through the powers of the interwebs.  You see there’s a hilarious and kind gentleman that goes by Single Steve.  He lives in San Diego and writes about his misadventures in the world of online dating at his site: www.singlesteve.com Turns out, Single Steve didn’t have a valentine this year and thanks to an FTD deal on Groupon, he decided to use his powers for good and spread a little cheer.  He held a bit of a contest on his blog to decide who to send the lucky delivery to.  I tweeted at him my entry: “You send me flowers, I send you baked goods – deal? #popcornwithcaramelchocolateandbacon #saltedfudgebrownies”.  He also requested addresses in order to fulfill the deliveries. I sent him my work one just for the sheer fact that I could say “Oh these? They’re from my secret admirer/internet stalker” to my coworkers.

Roses are red, carnations are too, flowers are awesome, no matter from who.

 

Well sure enough, Steve delivered.  And awkward laughs ensued at my desk when they arrived and were unsigned.  A simple card read: “To my valentine – Happy Valentine’s Day! You’re absolutely the greatest! Have a great day!”  I tweeted him a thank you and am still waiting for him to send me his address because I do in fact plan to follow through on my promise of baked goods.  Seriously Steve – take me up on this one.  But these flowers truly made my day.  I’ve had a lovely little grin on all day as people walked by my desk and go “Oh you got flowers!!”  It’s  a fun feeling.  So thank you Steve, for making my day extra special.  Like I said earlier in my tweet, if you lived closer, I’d totally go on a date with you (or at least makeout or something).

(Kidding.)

(Not really.)